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| Son #1 with his three sons. |
That year was a dark, draining year for me.
I had to have him C-section after a few hours of labor. Then
I got infection and finally made it home after nine days. Then it began.
I was alone with this bundle of anything but joy. He never
slept all night until he was 10 months old. And during the day three 20 minute
naps was all I could get. I remember making a bed of blankets on the floor
beside the couch for him to lie. I would lie on the couch with my arm hanging
off and pat him on the back – anything to try to get him to sleep so I could.
Farmer would leave early in the morning and not make it home
until 8:00 PM or later. Day after day, bone tired, and all alone with this over
demanding little being I slogged through that first year. I wanted sleep more
than anything. I think if someone offered to trade my son for sleep, he would
have been gone. So, glad that wasn’t an option.
He was the first. He was the test model for feeding
schedules, potty training, discipline, Sippy cups and everything that goes with
it.
My mistakes were made on him. My victories were his relief.
Because I was put to sleep for the C-section, and was in
isolation due to the infection, for so many days I think I really missed out on
the initial bonding that takes place with your newborn. It was a few months
before I felt like I was this squirming non-sleeping creature belonged to me.
Looking back I am surprised he made it through and became
the outstanding man he is. I had no clue what I was doing.
And, that he is, a marvelous man. I see my short comings
seeping out in times of trials. I also see his great leadership abilities. He
has a great mind that is looking for different and new ways to accomplish
bigger and better things. He has first born qualities like me. Like me, he’s a
risk taker with enough of his dad to keep him steady.
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| Fishing off the back of their boat in Lake Michigan. |
He’s a wonderful husband and great dad. He brings flowers to
his wife and takes his kids hunting and fishing. He reads bedtime stories and prays
with his boys.
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| #1 Son's #1 Son's first hunt with dad. |
When something comes up that I need help and Farmer can’t
and I’ve exhausted my outside the family list of helpers I know I can ask him. He
has a family of his own to take care of, so I try not to add to that, but if I
ask, he is more than willing to step in.
He also thinks I’m sappy. He’s right, I am. I cry at the strangest
things. But, it began when he entered my life. The tears started then and they
continue now – usually when I least desire.
Thirty eight years ago today I started fulfilling my purpose
that God placed in my heart. Being a mom.
For all of you moms who haven’t hit the thirty eighth year,
you will before you want to. Don’t turn your eyes away, get distracted or become
too busy because you’ll miss those years.
There’s a sweet sadness that I’m at in this place of my life.
The sadness is that it’s passed. I can’t go back and have a do over. The sweetness
is all the memories from the past, the joys of everyday life and the future
blessings.
So, Happy Birthday Son #1.
I’m so glad I didn’t trade you for sleep all those years
ago.
I love you.
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| Best place to watch 4th of July fireworks - in your dad's arms. |
