Joe sat on the bench, outside in the sunshine, traveling
down memory lane.
He remembered the first time he held his son in the delivery
room and how the newborn struggled to open his eyes to look at him. Joe used
his hands to shade his son’s eyes from the harsh glare of the room. He was so
tiny.
This son was destined to grow up with the same blood he had.
The desire to till the soil and take care of God’s critters was thick and
pumping through his heart.
Watching him wrestle, play baseball, football, and hunt as
he grew up Joe could see the good qualities. His son was quite competitive and
worked hard at each one.
Then there was that one morning when his son walked his
first cow that he bought with his own money, across the field over to show his
mom. He was ten years old and already wanted to join his dad in the family
business.
Joe smiled as he realized the life skills he taught his son:
how to weld, use power tools, the basics in electronics and the way machines
work. It wasn’t long before his son could diagnose a problem and create a
solution. He became the “king of duct tape” and was teased about it in a fun,
loving way.
Over the years his son had invested more and more of his
time and life beside him on the farm. Daily they worked together. Daily his son
solved problems, took on challenges, and won battles of frustrations all the
while trying to please his dad.
Joe’s business grew and so did his concerns for success of
the farm for his family. He began to rely more and more on his son. And, his
son continued to grow in his ability to solve most problems. Joe was proud of
him, and he regretted not taking the time to tell him.
Once in a while in conversation with others, he spoke of his
boy’s abilities and skills, yet never took the time to praise or thank him.
Years went by and life carried on like a dandelion weed
blowing across a hay field, bouncing along with no real destination.
With each passing year Joe depended more heavily on his son,
and for the most part his son didn’t disappoint him. Yet, once again, Joe
didn’t take the time to develop a relationship outside the workplace. Oh, he
had plenty of time, considering they spent most of their days side by side at
the farm, and there were plenty of family times where he could have initiated
conversation that didn’t revolve around crops or machinery.
And yet, the words of thanks, praise, and adoration failed
to spill from Joe’s lips.
Joe’s wife, and a friend or two, tried to explain to Joe how
important it was for his son to hear his dad’s voice. In fact, his wife begged,
pleaded, cried and became somewhat of a nag trying to get Joe to understand
that only he could fill that very important spot in his son’s heart.
And his son would work hard on the farm thinking each time
he conquered another job that this one
would be the one that would loosen his dad’s tongue and result in the
encouragement, praise and relationship he longed for.
There were times when Joe’s son would try to sit and share
his feelings with Joe. As an adult, he would tell him that he just wanted his
dad to become his friend. He even shared how he felt like he could never be
good enough for Joe. With all his hard work, all he really wanted was to hear
his dad say he appreciated what he was doing and maybe even that he was proud
of him. Just a few simple words would have refreshed his son. “Thank you, you
did a great job,” or “I appreciate you,” would have been like a drink of cool
water after crawling across a vast desert floor.
Yet, Joe withheld.
Years of his son trying everything he could to gain his
dad’s outward expression of love passed with nothing from Joe.
Well, with tears in his eyes, today was going to be the day
Joe changed.
Joe was determined to tell his son “I appreciate you. I’m
proud of you. And, most of all, I love you.”
Joe leaned forward and rose from the bench.
He walked a few feet, and knelt down in the grass. He laid
his hand on the cool marble headstone and began.
