Forty-six years ago, I married my best friend, no . . . soul mate, no . . . OK – I married Farmer.
Forty-six years ago, I married Farmer and we lived happily ever after, no. . . committedly and determinedly ever after.
Never, as a young girl, in a million years would I have thought I’d be sitting here at my dining room table looking out at a hayfield, surrounded on the other 3 sides by corn. And, loving it.
Has married life been all I thought? Nope, not by a long shot.
The dreamy eyed 18-year-old that got married had grand delusions. Then, reality happened.
Many disappointments and sorrows have been my traveling companion.
Happiness, joy and blessings have journeyed also.
There were too many times that I felt like giving up. There were too many times when we both had reasons to leave. Never from infidelity but other legitimate reasons as far as the world is concerned.
Yet, for me, those reasons were just trials to get through. And, honestly, I caused many of those problems myself – not all but many.
Would I do it again?
Yes, I would. My kids and grandkids are enough reason to pick this life again.
Would I do things differently?
Yes, I would. I think different choices definitely would have resulted in a better life in some areas.
I’m grateful Farmer didn’t quit. I also wish Farmer would change in a few areas but I doubt that will ever happen. And I know Farmer would give his left arm for me to change some things – that I doubt I will. See – it’s a two-way street marriage is.
It’s way too easy to quit. Not just marriage, but a lot of things. There is value in sticking with it and working things out. Sometimes what you feel is a hindrance becomes most valuable. When your spouse is as irritating as sand paper it may be because of you and the work needed to smooth out your rough edges.
Lest you think my life is unhappy and miserable, it’s not. My life is busy, joyful, loud, and messy at times. I am blessed more that 99% of the population I believe and thank God for my spot here on this ball of mud daily.
I pray my children have better lives and marriages – who doesn’t? My kids haven’t seen a perfect marriage, but they have seen commitment and determination to work through and make better.
