10 Reasons Your Christmas Won't Measure up to Hallmark Standards
1. It takes longer than 2 hours to live happily ever after. There are no commercials in real life when you can run to the bathroom, change into PJs or make popcorn to munch.
2. Snow rarely settles into perfectly white banks around store entrances with the sidewalks clean. Heck white snow in the city in any configuration is rare.
3. You will never look as good as the main character or have that good of wardrobe unless you have a makeup artist on call and a stylist that lives with you.
4. Most don’t have a skating rink available so you will lack in that department. And if you do, do you have hot cocoa waiting on the sidelines with music piped in?
5. If you’re gluten free it may put a wrinkle in the cookie baking segment. Also, I doubt anyone comes in and cleans up your mess while you go on to the next Christmas event.
6. Most people can’t wait for the last three minutes for their first kiss. Enough said.
7. Your background music can never measure up. The sound of traffic, kids crying, dogs barking, texts pinging is more like it.
8. Not everyone has a Balsam Hill tree or Hallmark ornaments. If you can afford those you can afford someone to come in and do the decorating for you.
9. Your small town pageant won’t be as elaborate or have enough money to create a Hallmark play. I doubt there will be someone to come in and rescue the inevitable dilemma.
And finally . . .
10. If you fall off a ladder while decorating there probably won’t be someone there to catch you, and if there is . . .will he be as good looking?
But, then again, does it need to?
