On the farm it seems there is no escape from, well the farm and everything that goes with it.
There are no weekends and hardly any days off. Many of us live on the farm so we can’t even shut the barn door and drive away to our home. We don’t even get to shut the barn door. Like many ours is a 24-hour operation and even if we didn’t milk cows work would never be done.
I can hear other’s say “I can’t wait until Friday. I’m looking forward to the weekend.” They punch out, walk away, and leave the stress (for the most part) behind or the next person on shift takes over what they had been doing.
The same goes for conflict and strife on the farm. After listening to so many I felt this needed to be addressed.
On many farms like ours, the farm office is in our home, and we’ve always had a revolving door with all the kids. Much of the farm business comes in and out the door – insurance guys, seed guys, semen salesman, the list could go on.
And with that comes meetings, conversations, and confrontations.
And I get the premature calf laying in the mudroom and other things like that. I’m just trying to show where a wall between home and business could be beneficial.
After listening to many I’ve compiled a list of a few things I received from others anonymously that might prevent some issues in your home and help you find a way to make or keep your home – your home and not an extension of the business.
Now, I know this is just about impossible and it won’t be a clean-cut division but if you can at least eliminate something, then there may just be a touch less stress.
Here we go:
First, meet the people who are doing business with you at the farm. If your house is 10 feet from the barn, then meet in the barn.
Have weekly or even a 10-minute daily conversation with those you work with each morning to keep the wrinkles small and ironable. Waiting to talk about something a week later or a week into a project creates a wrinkle hard to smooth out – and meet in the barn or barn office if you have one.
If you are having conflicts that aren’t being resolved or conflicts frequently call in a family counselor or a business consultant that can look at things objectively. Preservation of the family should be before preservation of the farm – at least in my opinion.
Do not use your dining room table to hold meetings. We did this and while all meetings weren’t stressful there were a few that caused strife and things that needed to be worked out. I wanted my dining room table to be a table that held memories of family, good times, happiness not anxiety or conflict. There have not been for a while nor will be any meetings at my dining room table again.
If you share meals, farm talk isn’t allowed. Time around the table should be catch up time, what else is happening in the world time, etc.
If you struggle with finding a place, check out your township building, church, local diner (in public you may stay less vocally loud), your lender’s place of business. I know it sounds like overkill but if you want a peaceful home you may need to do the extra work to keep the business separate.
Our home should be the place where worries are left at the door. Where the manure is wiped from our boots, and we can let our shoulders relax.
I’m not naïve enough to know that will happen in every home, everyday but staying healthy mentally, physically, and emotionally takes work.
I pray you find your balancing act with your family, home, and farm.
. . . to be continued . . .
If you want to share your thoughts or experience anonymously message me.
