This past Wednesday was week number one on a local radio show for me. For five minutes the DJ and I bantered back and forth and spoke about my blog www.randomramblilngsof.com and my book Celebrate the Ordinary. I thought, “I can do this!” While I wouldn’t have a problem with talking, just ask Farmer or any of the sons, I would have a problem with all the computer buttons, time segments and not freaking out with the whole “live on air” thing. It was enough pressure not messing up within the five minutes. If you are so inclined you can tune in Wednesday mornings at 8:15 AM to www.whtc.com and gather ammunition to use against me later.
Now, the radiation part. I have had a pain off and on for over 20 years. It just so happens the pain is exactly where I broke my rib. I’d like to say I broke my rib while sky diving, mountain climbing or some other adventurous reason. But, the truth is I was playing ball, hit the ball, tripped over my feet and fell ½ foot away from home plate and broke my rib. To make matters worse, it was a church team with a few of my sons and Farmer on the roster. I know what you’re thinking. You’re envisioning all the men in my life running up and making sure I was OK. Well, actually I had to help them up off the ground. They got stuck curled up fetal style laughing so hard they were turning blue.
Anyway, back to me. My pain. I just knew it had to do with that silly rib. So my first radiation activity was a C scan. It was determined there was no problem with my bones but I did have a fatty liver. Just once, just once before I leave this green ball couldn’t I be the thin one? Noooo, now my liver is chubby.
Apparently, if you have fat in your liver you may have gall bladder issues.
Next step – hydro scan.
I must say if I need another test again I will request that one.
The most uncomfortable part was getting an IV started in one of my veins. They are pretty independent and usually “just say no” to any sort of needles.
For the next hour I was made quite comfy on a table with pillows, warm blankets and a TV situated just so. While I napped, watched Little Women a metal orb hovered over my stomach taking pictures.
After that, for 35 minutes I had a radioactive liquid pumped into my arm and the orb went back to work while I finished my movie. I am sure I am making medical personnel quiver with my explanations.
I asked the technician if anything cool would happen. Like, would my pee turn neon? She said nope. Then I thought, maybe that’s not so bad, because to how many people can you actually say “Come here, look at my pee that glows in the dark.” What fun would that be when you couldn’t share it?
I thought it would be cool though if my eyes would be a funky yellow. I might be able to scare Farmer in the middle of the night. But alas, none of the above.
So, now I am right where the doctors like me. Waiting, expectantly for their call to give me the good/bad news. Oh, such power they hold.
I have it figured out. If I need surgery I have 2 days available in December which would be great for my insurance deductible debacle.
Stay tuned to see how that works out.
Oh, the best part of this. The night before I had to have the scan I had to consume 11 grams of fat. Well, I hardly ever settle for average, so Farmer and I went and had Deep Fried Fish and Deep Fried Onion Rings. Truthfully, it did sort of make me nauseous.
Anyway, what a Farmer, sacrificing and eating that greasy food, just to keep me company – what a man I have.
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