Let me be clear. We are choosing to transition our farm to our son. No one is forcing us. Yet, it is still difficult in many many ways.
I’ve been hearing some horror stories about other family farms, and it makes me shudder.
So, if we chose to turn the reins over, then why the difficulty?
Oh, so many reasons.
Legally there are too many hoops to jump through. Financially there are too many paths to travel. It’s a quagmire in itself in those departments.
But let’s concentrate on the human, emotional aspect.
Our son and daughter-in-law are doing a great job. Our intention is to allow them to sink or swim on their own and they are swimming quite well from what we can see.
We are more removed than we would like to be. We aren’t part of the day-to-day activities. Relationships we had are no more. If we’re not at the farm when the parts guy drives in, we can’t ask how his kids are doing in sports. If we’re not there when the feed comes, we can’t ask him how his wife is doing, etc. We aren’t as connected with the employees either. These are the tough things we didn’t see coming. You can’t allow someone to sink or swim if you’re always there adjusting the life raft. It’s really no one’s fault, it just is.
We miss out on seeing the new calf being born, jumping in the tractor to mow the first cutting alfalfa, figuring out what is wrong with a piece of machinery and fixing it. All these things that at one point or another was either a blessing or a burden are no more.
Our goal is to be in the wings ready to help and to offer guidance when asked.
It’s also difficult watching them being in over their heads with busyness. The non-stop attending to all the cogs in the wheel of the operation is daunting. I try not to worry about the lack of sleep, the lack of family time etc. But I’ve lived it and I know the toll it takes. Yet, they weren’t forced either. They accepted the reins with anticipation of keeping things going and making things better.
Over the next weeks I hope to bring more stories and shine the light on this topic.
One of my main goals is to portray the reality of the struggles and help others pass the baton more smoothly if possible. There’s more to come on that seemingly impossible task with stories from others. If not pass the baton more smoothly, then to acknowledge the common struggle and that you’re not alone on a sinking ship.
When you are living the life you feel you were created for and then the time has come to step away, it’s extremely difficult to find the off button. You know it’s time, you know it’s right yet there is still an emotional ripping off the Band-Aid.
I pray by putting this out there that this helps others.
I will be getting more descriptive in scenarios of others – anonymously in hopes to prevent the tearing away a little less hurtful.
We chose – it’s still hard.
. . . to be continued . . .
If you want to share your story anonymously, message me.
