Saturday night after going out for dinner with my sister and brother-in-law, we made a stop at the Med Center.
For the last five days my middle finger on my right hand had become sorer and redder as the days went by. I tried to ignore it, but finally gave in. This was our experience.
My sister came in with me while the guys did some bonding in the car. We approached the first desk and gave the woman all the important information such as insurance, date of birth and etc. When she asked “What brings you in here tonight”? I flipped up my finger to show her. With a smile on my face I said “I’ve always wanted to do that”. She laughed and my sister was ready to berate me. Our next stop was the waiting room. Just enough time to update my peeps on face book.
We were only in the waiting room for three minutes when we went back to the triage room. There another lovely lady (we will call her she-nurse) started asking questions. Right in the middle of the questions, another really cute nurse came in (we will call him he-nurse). He is a cross between Chris Rock and Denzel Washington. As he-nurse was walking in the she-nurse asked “Do you feel safe in your environment?” I answered “Pretty much, unless the bull is loose.” He-nurse stopped mid stride and she-nurse started to laugh. “I live on a farm” I explained. Shaking his head, while trying not to laugh, he-nurse came back to hook the finger thingy on again.
She-nurse was asking about prior surgeries and etc. and I was naming them off, 4 C-sections, carpal tunnel, and eye lid reduction. She-nurse interrupted “Both eyes?” “Yep” I answered. “Breast reduction” I continued. She-nurse stopped and looked at me waiting for other surgeries to be named. “Yep, both” I said. Well, that got Denzel Rock to laughing and as hard as he tried he couldn’t stop. I tried to put him at ease by telling him how cute he was. That sort of sent him over the top and he had to leave the room.
After answering all the questions she-nurse had, he-nurse came back and escorted us on to the exam room. As we passed a group of medical personnel in the hallway, he-nurse was shaking his head and sister and I were laughing. One of nurses said “What is going on in there? There is way too much laughing!” He-nurse stifled a snort and kept walking. He left us in the room to wait for the doctor.
Within three minutes the doctor entered. He shook my hand and asked what was going on.
“Well, my finger has been hurting for five days now. It is red, swollen, feels warm and I can take my pulse by counting the heart beats I can feel throbbing in the end of it. Also, my friends on face book said I should come in" I replied.
I showed him my finger and he poked, prodded and squeezed my finger. After he scraped me off the ceiling he says “Well this is a parpnychia” he stated while holding my hand.
“That’s what Doc, my friend on face book said” I proclaim proudly.
“Usually what we do is take a blade and slice it right here and get the puss out. But, I don’t think we’ll get anything but blood right now.”
I am noticing that as he is holding my hand, his hand is a bit shaky. The last thing I want is Shaky Jake to slice into my finger. “So, we don’t really want to slice anything tonight do we?” I state, not ask.
“No, I think we’ll get you started on antibiotics, and you need to soak it in Epsom salts. Keep pushing the cuticle back and if you can get any puss out, that will be good”.
“So, puss is good, right?” I never thought I’d say that!
OK, I’m thinking "now let go of my hand!" When I got my hand back I asked him how this happened. He rambled on a bit, but basically, it happened, just because infection wanted to take up residence there.
I can’t remember what all was discussed but finally he said, “Well, I have to write you a presription, so I better go.”
After he left the room sister and I both said at the same time “I didn’t think he would ever leave.” She also added “I think he liked holding your hand.” My immediate thought was “If that gives him a thrill, then God Bless him, let him have it.”
Within three minutes (do you see the three minute pattern here?) yet, another nurse walked in. This guy reminded me of Tim Gunn from Project Runway.
He starts by telling me “I have a prescription here for you for...”. He couldn’t pronounce it, never heard of it before and “Can I see it? I want to see what one looks like” he asked with a gleam in his eye.
I proudly extend my finger and he oohhs and aahhs over it. “Yep, that’s what a parpnychia looks like” I say with authority.
